Thanks for the compliments. Yeah, I have been doing lots of knitting lately. Its mostly an avoidance technique. Avoidance of any real work, that is. For me, doing the dishes, taking the dogs for walks, watching Live with Regis and Kelly, going thrifting, and cleaning all fall under the avoidance techniques also. I've been working weird hours at the coffee shop this week because Pete is out all week due to some surgery he had. I work from like eleven until three every day. Its messed everything up. How could that schedule allow me to get any real work done? - I guess i will just knit instead.... So I have been working on another sweater - one of the pullovers from
Weekend Knitting. I photocopied the pattern from the library when I was home. Its grey yarn. I'm not too far yet, but I'll keep you posted. The front panel of Bill's quilt is done & now all I need to do is get the batting and the backing and put it all together! I'm excited & I think it is going to look really nice. I am also trying to make one of those cute bags from the coat that Iris made. I'm not sure how it will turn out. I couldn't find any military jackets, so I just got a woman's old wool jacket. Its not quite as thick, I don't think.
So, I was talking about the coffee shop earlier. I am having problems. One of my co-workers is out to get me, spreading nasty rumors and telling on me. Yes, a 25 year old tattle tale. But, of course she is sweet as pie to my face. It think that's what they call southern hospitality... Anyway, I thought she was my friend, but apparently I thought wrong. I have been fretting over it. But I don't want to fret because it isn't worth my time. But the more I fret, the more I get mad for fretting, and the cycle goes on. I don't know how to deal with it because we are pseudo-friends and she doesn't know that I know all the stuff she said and I don't want a confrontation or anything, but how can I act all nicey-nicey around her? And she's in the knitting club too. I HATE this kind of crap. I was soooo over this kind of drama around 1992, so why should I have to deal with it now? Of all the personality quirks and traits out there, I think fakey-ness is the most evil to me. Why can't people just be genuine, who they are... I am much more likely to respect someone if they are genuine -even if I don't really care for their personality- than if they are nice, but its fake. Which, I believe, brings up a whole nother ball of wax - self confidence. Why is it so hard to find women our age that have self confidence? Why is it that so many people I meet are so lacking in self confidence? Do you notice that with people you meet? I mean, yeah, every now and then I have bouts where I'm not that fond of myself, but for the most part, I am happy with who I am. It almost scares me to have children, because I don't want to raise kids that have such self-esteem issues. And the rest of the world doesn't help. I was watching Oprah yesterday (another great avoidance technique) and the whole show was focused around 'older' women (around 40-70 years old) who looked much younger & what their secrets for youthfulness were. Well, most of them said that they were truly happy, they did things that they loved and were passionate about, they ate well, and exerciesed etc. But they really focused on the part where they did what they loved and found things that they were passionate about. Well, hell, I could have told you that and I'm only 28 years old! I think that when we are young, in our 20's, we have so much to look forward to, so much to dream about for our future, but then as we get older, somehow we lose that passion for life and that's what drags us down... And I think that is what the fear of getting old really is. As I am approaching 30 (God, it is scary to even say that outloud), I think that the fear is that I will turn unhappy, that I won't be 'cool' anymore, although, I don't even know what that means. That I won't meet anymore amazing people to energize my life (major concern, especially considering my track record since moving to Alabama), that my career won't excite me, that my lofty, yarn filled dreams (and others) won't be fulfilled. Or maybe I'm just worried about getting a big butt and all my hair turning grey. Its hard to say on days like these.
I must get to bed. I'm thinking too much. Love you. Can't wait to see you in a Month!? Yes?